I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
