6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
he thought i was a dude.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize