There is no way he is gay with that hair.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
