He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
