evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
