Plan B is the new Plan A
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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