i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
