remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
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he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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