Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Randomize
