when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Please, let me fuck your mom
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
