After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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