there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
