I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
i think my cat just said my name.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
