I wish they made helmets for livers.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
