Joe is yelling at the trees again.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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