I bet he comes in French.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
