worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
