I want to have your abortion
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
