I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
