D3 body, D1 cock
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
