I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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