apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
