took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
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I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
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I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize