I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
