Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize