Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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