i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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