Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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