You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
