Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
