Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
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