She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
