Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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