take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
sick fucks of a feather flock together
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
