I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Can you bring me the toilet please
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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