everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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