just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
