i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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