Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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