Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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