duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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