The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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