What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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