I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
