Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize