Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
We're like a lot better than the average bears
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Randomize
