can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
