what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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