Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
