if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize