when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Ambien. No doubt about it.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
it's like heaven, but drunker
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
