Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
what day is it and did you see me today?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
